The Shard of Perfection: Writing Through the Jagged Truths of Neil Ames

When I first began writing The Shard of Perfection, I didn’t realize how much the process would demand from me—not just as a writer, but as a person. At its heart, this book is about Neil Ames grappling with the sharp, painful truths of his past, truths he’s avoided for years. In some ways, it mirrors the way we all navigate our own histories, clinging to the comforting illusions that keep us moving forward, even as they slowly cut us apart.

Neil, as a character, has always been someone who carries his scars just beneath the surface. He’s endured a lifetime of betrayal and loss—most acutely in the brutal murder of his fiancée, Emily Granger. That event set the foundation for the Neil Ames, PI Mystery Series, and every book since has been a layer of his quest for both answers and redemption.

But The Shard of Perfection is different. This story isn’t just about solving another case—it’s about Neil finally confronting the lies he’s built his life around.

The Shard as a Metaphor

The concept of shards—of brokenness, of something sharp yet beautiful—runs through every layer of this book. For Neil, these shards represent the fragments of Emily’s memory that he’s been holding onto for years, refusing to let go. But what happens when the thing you’ve idealized turns out to be something else entirely?

As I write, I found myself exploring this theme in unexpected ways. Emily, who has always existed in Neil’s mind as a symbol of innocence and perfection, begins to crack under the weight of the truth. The closer Neil gets to understanding what happened to her—and who she truly was—the more he realizes that perfection isn’t real. It’s an illusion, often constructed from shards of truth and pain.

For me, this is a deeply personal journey. As an author, I’ve always been drawn to flawed characters and complex stories, but this time, it feels like I am holding up a mirror to my own perceptions of love, loss, and the stories we tell ourselves to survive.

Crafting the Global Mystery

One of the joys of writing The Shard of Perfection is weaving together a mystery that spans continents. From the vibrant streets of Singapore to the stark beauty of Kazakhstan, the story unfolds in settings that are both breathtaking and dangerous.

Each location brings its own challenges—and its own revelations. The idea of the New Silk Road became a key element early on, not just as a physical journey but as a metaphorical one. It represents the tangled connections of global trade, crime, and power that Neil must navigate. At the same time, it reflects his personal journey: the winding, unpredictable path toward understanding the truth.

The action sequences in Kazakhstan, particularly the catastrophic crash, were some of the most difficult scenes to write. I wanted readers to feel the chaos and danger as Neil and his partner, Octavia Clarke, face forces far larger than themselves. But more than that, I wanted to capture the emotional stakes—how every lead they lose, every failure they encounter, cuts deeper into Neil’s psyche.

Octavia Clarke: A Reflection of Strength

Writing Octavia Clarke is always a highlight for me. She’s a fierce, intelligent character who serves as Neil’s grounding force, even as she battles her own demons. In The Shard of Perfection, Octavia is recovering from a near-fatal encounter during their last investigation. Her physical and emotional scars mirror Neil’s, and together, they form a partnership built on mutual trust and resilience.

In this story, Octavia isn’t just a sidekick—she’s an equal. Her strength, her sharp instincts, and her ability to call Neil out when he’s blinded by emotion make her indispensable. I think readers will see how much she contributes to Neil’s growth, even as she struggles to define her own role in the dangerous world they navigate.

The Emotional Core

At its core, The Shard of Perfection is a story about confronting the past—about peeling back the layers of pain and lies to uncover the truth, no matter how sharp or jagged it may be. For Neil, this means facing not just the reality of Emily’s life and death, but also the ways he’s allowed those memories to shape him.

Writing this story is a reminder that perfection doesn’t exist. We are all made of fragments—some sharp, some smooth, but all essential to who we are. And sometimes, it’s the jagged edges that teach us the most.

The Gift I Never Gave My Brother

Today is my brother Mike’s birthday. He would have been 69 years old. It’s hard to imagine him at that age because in my mind, he is forever frozen in time—younger, vibrant, and carrying the spirit of an artist. My brother was a carver. Not just a hobbyist, but a true artist whose work caught the eye of a governor of the State of Washington. That governor bought one of his pieces for their personal collection. It was a moment of recognition for Mike’s immense talent, even as his life remained tumultuous.

Mike had a troubled childhood. To be honest, it was a troubled life all the way through. He wrestled with demons that sometimes felt too big to conquer. Ultimately, he died a violent death, a tragic end to a life that always seemed precariously balanced on the edge of chaos. But even in death, he’s never really left me. He still lives in my imagination—a persistent spirit that travels with me, whispering encouragement when I need it most. He tells me to “buck up,” to keep going, and to remember that living an artist’s life—or, in my case, a writer’s life—brings a purpose and focus that extends beyond the mundane routines of day-to-day existence.

As a writer, I often mine my life experiences to craft fiction. The funny thing about fiction is how often it reveals the truths we’re afraid to confront directly. One of my memories of Mike inspired a scene in my latest book, The Four-Bar Progression. It’s a moment that speaks to the quiet, human connections we sometimes overlook in the swirl of larger events.

I still remember the last conversation I ever had with Mike. It was decades ago. I asked him what he wanted for Christmas. “Socks,” he said. Just socks. It was such a simple request, almost painfully humble. I never got the chance to give him those Christmas socks. His death came before the holidays, and that small, unfinished gesture has lingered in my heart ever since.

Now, every holiday season, I buy a bag of socks and donate them in his name. It’s my way of honoring him, of keeping his memory alive in a way that feels tangible. It’s a small act, but it carries weight for me. It’s not just about the socks—it’s about recognizing the humanity in each of us, even in the smallest of requests.

So today, I say: Happy Birthday, Mikey. Thank you for the lessons, the memories, and the inspiration. You were a complicated soul, but you were also an artist, a brother, and a presence that will forever be etched into my life and my work. I’ll keep listening for your whispers, and I’ll keep bucking up, just like you’d want me to.

The Misadventures of an Indie Author: A Tale of a Private Investigator Mystery

Greetings, fellow bookworms and amateur detectives! Swinton here.

I finally drafted, edited, formatted and published The Dyeing Process. It’s only taken me four years to accomplish this. That’s four times longer than I thought it would take. Picture this: me, a first-time indie author, armed with nothing but a laptop, a wild imagination, and a burning desire to write my very own private investigator mystery.

Now, let me set the scene for you. It all started on the first of November 2019, day one of NaNoWriMo, a month long marathon that writers undertake every year. As I sat hunched over my keyboard, sipping on copious amounts of coffee and trying to conjure up the perfect plot for my debut novel. Little did I know, I was about to embark on a quest beyond that month filled with self-publishing shenanigans.

First things first, I had to come up with a protagonist. Enter Neil Ames, a troubled private investigator. Well, that’s not exactly, right. First came The murder victim Kathleen Sterling, an investigative journalist, whose spirit can’t seem to leave her apartment. She was going to help a bumbling police investigator find her murderer, much like Columbo, who would be helped by the victim’s dog, named Sherlock. Wrong. Suddenly a brooding, haunted, private investigator, with a Sherlock Holmes fixation , who told me his name is Neil Ames, strode down the hallway to the crime scene. Sherlock the dog remained , but not the spirit of Katherine Sterling.

With Neil by my side, I dove headfirst into the world of private investigation, crafting a plot filled with twists, turns, and more red herrings than a fish market. (All right, I know that’s cliché, and if it was in the book it would have been edited out.) But little did I know, the real mystery was about to unfold behind the scenes of my writing process.

As I delved deeper into the murky waters of self-publishing, I quickly discovered that navigating the indie author scene is a lot like solving a mystery – full of unexpected plot twists and hair-raising encounters with dubious characters.

First, there was the editing process – a harrowing journey through the treacherous landscape of typos, grammatical errors, and plot holes the size of potholes. Let's just say, my manuscript went through more revisions than a Broadway play during tech week. (Sorry, my background in theater always finds it's way into everything I write.) I found a great critique group and a kind but firm copy editor…Natalia Leigh who tamed the actor who loves dashes and hash marks to semi-colons.

Next up, cover design. Now, I may be a whiz with words, but when it comes to graphic design, let's just say my artistic talents leave a lot to be desired. After countless hours spent wrestling with Photoshop and more than a few failed attempts at creating a cover that didn't look like it was designed by a toddler, I finally caved and hired a professional…A really good cover designer…Stuart Bache.

And let's not even get started on marketing. As an indie author, I quickly learned that promoting your book is a full-time job in itself. From building a social media presence to organizing book signings and blog tours, the list of marketing tasks seemed endless. But hey, at least I got to flex my detective skills by hunting down elusive book reviewers and tracking sales data like a seasoned gumshoe.

But amidst all the chaos of my indie author journey, there were moments of pure magic – like the thrill of holding my published book in my hands for the first time, or the joy of hearing from readers who fell in love with Neil Ames and the talented amateur, Octavia Clarke (his Watson).

So, to all you aspiring indie authors out there, I say this: embrace the madness, laugh in the face of adversity, and never underestimate the power of a good detective novel – even if it takes a few misadventures to get there.

Until next time, keep sleuthing and keep writing!